🔗 Share this article

One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?